Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize