then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I need water and some morals
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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