he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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