Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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