he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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