She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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