Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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