i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
