This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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