If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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