I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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