Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
