I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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