My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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