i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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