yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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