things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
