that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
