Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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