I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
