2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Ketchup is God's man juice
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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