its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize