5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
