How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
