Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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