and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
