i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
