is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
