Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Randomize
