You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize