I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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