What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize