i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
