I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
