sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Operation Purity has been aborted
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
