Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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