I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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