so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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