When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
