oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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