Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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