So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
