I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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