Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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