I'm going to jail i love you
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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