Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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