i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
