Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
