I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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