Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My ATM looks so different sober.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
