Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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