I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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