There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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