if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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