fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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