You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think people are normalizing furries
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
