She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
