So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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