I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
