She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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