can u get pink eye on your cock?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
