Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
