porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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