u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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