Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize