I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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