So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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