4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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