I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
