Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
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