That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
