If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
